So throwing it back, I’ve always struggled with my weight. I would never say I was ‘overweight’ but I’ve always been a little bigger or been told I was ‘big boned’ and ‘it’s just the way my body is’ when really that wasn’t any good for my brain to hear (I realise that now) I just loved food so much (still do). Here is my joruney and my weightloss story working with Musclecoach Luke.
I’d tried SO MANY diets and yo-yoed for so long. I starved myself to be skinner, I used to skip breakfast, have a shake for dinner, survive on chewing gum through the day, then eat a ‘normal’ tea. I joined slimming world twice and lost weight, I was OBSESSED with seeing the number on the scale go down. I just wanted to be that skinny girl, I have no knowledge of being strong or healthy… I just wanted to be smaller.
I finally found a weight or look that I was ‘happy’ with (after about 4 years) and didn’t hate what I saw on photos, but still, it was a struggle. But then bang… I lost someone close to me (this happened in the worse possible way) so comfort eating began… it went on and on and on. I used food to help me feel better, or I thought that’s what I was doing.
Through comfort eating and eating my feelings I got to my biggest EVER (the photos still mortify me) people often say ‘you didn’t even look bad’ or ‘you wasn’t that big’ but it was how I felt on the inside. I used food and I was just getting through life pretending that everything was ok when I was actually really unhappy in my body.
Taking photos of myself I was ‘okay’ with because you can make yourself look smaller by standing a certain way or getting a certain angle, I still wasn’t happy but it was alright. I was with my work friends and we were getting ready for a work colleagues birthday party (when things were normal, pre-covid) we had a group photo and I asked to see it and OMG that was the moment I realised enough was enough… I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I couldn’t stop looking at the photo and tearing myself apart.
So from this, I signed up at the gym and joined slimming world AGAIN- thinking this was the answer. So once again I’m focussing on the scales going down. I started at the gym with Louise one of my work friends and we got into a good routine of going and doing cardio (we had NO idea how to use anything else) we kept seeing ‘6 weeks free programme’ so we enquired and got put with Musclecoach (Luke) 6 weeks went past and I was really enjoying it and seeing changes in myself. Once to 6 weeks was finished, I decided to go ahead with personal training and for the first time I invested in myself and got a block of 10 sessions with Luke. It takes me a while to open up and trust people and I remember him saying ‘I didn’t even know if you liked me or was enjoying it’ that’s because I was such a closed person and I used to be embarrassed of how I looked, thinking I was too big to be in a gym (it’s really silly looking back)
Weight started to drop and I was seeing changes, Luke got me in the weights area (which I was so scared of) and I start to become more confident so he took some videos of exercises. I was still on slimming world at this point, but was talking to Luke about a food plan and how to fuel my body properly and that slimming world wasn’t the long-term answer. So I stepped away from it and started on a food plan, I couldn’t believe what was actually ‘allowed’ to eat!
My main focus from here was my holiday to Ibiza in June 2019, I wanted to be in the best shape I had been in. I started lifting weights and did bigger movements in the gym. It took me so long to build up confidence (but that’s another story) We reached the deadline and I was so happy with what we achieved! I went on holiday and felt AMAZING!
So that’s my ‘offical’ weight loss journey and how it all got started! I’ve come so much further now, even from this photo. I’m very proud of my story and I’ve got more to share… but that’s it for now!
Thank you for reading,